Seventh

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Can you show me what it feels like? To have to run away.

Funny how just one sesh is able to make me feel so skinny. Also funny how one small portion of my meal is able to make me feel so fat, ugly & bloated. Most of the time I wish I can do it the easy way, nt gna deny that. But nt only am I gna hurt myself, I'll be hurting the people who care fr me too. Sigh.

Mixed feelings.

I'm at the happiest point of my life yet I also feel it's the saddest. Call me crazy, but that's exactly how I feel. Guess I'm alrdy numb. Even though things are kinda bad I taught myself to be grateful. From a negative person I forced myself along the years to be positive no matter how I really feel inside. And I've gotten so good at it it's like the pretense had become real & idk how to differentiate anymore.

I just wish things'll turn out great in the near future. Idk how much longer I can hold. Sometimes I feel like I'm abt to break.

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